Thursday, July 29, 2010

Please Dress Professionally

Today we had CPR class at the district office. I am now able to give immunizations again, a fact for which I'm sure I will be sorry in a month when we start up with the flu extravaganza. The "rule" is that we are to dress professionally at the district office, even though we don't come into contact with any customers. Some of us came dressed up, and some came in jeans or shorts. I don't have a problem with dressing up, but we are doing skills assessment on each other, as well as mannequins, which means getting down on the floor. In my dress pants and shoes. And the shirt I chose to wear was the wrong choice, because everyone got a free show while I was bent over doing chest compressions on the mannequin. Oops. My partner was wearing a dress, so I spent more effort keeping her modest than making sure I could turn her over if she were unconscious. And since they haven't vacuumed the carpet since the office was opened, I left there covered in lint, dirt, and God knows what else all over my black pants. Lesson learned. I'm wearing jeans next time.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Judging Patients

Anyone else have trouble not scrutinizing a patient's hairline when he picks up Propecia? How about checking the size of the ass on that girl picking up Phentermine? She is usually smaller than me...maybe because she is taking weight loss drugs.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Light It Up and Take a Puff

I knicked this one from, a funny site about customer service encounters...occasionally they have pharmacy-related stories...

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One
Pharmacy Boulder, CO, USA

(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

Actually, the patient is spot-on. I may have to incorporate this into my inhaler counseling...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Lord Help Me

Got a call from a lady today whose doctor had to change her from Diovan 160mg to Benicar for insurance reasons. Prescriber started her on Benicar 20mg, which I thought was pretty reasonable. She was concerned that it wasn't equivalent. We discussed the situation for a while, and I thought she got it, until she said, "So I need to take eight of these for it to work the same as my Diovan?"

OK, let's go over this again...

On the upside, at least the lady can multiply...

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Readerless Blog

I am readerless. I am the only person who reads this blog. I haven't promoted it to coworkers or on my Facebook because I don't necessarily want people to know that it is me writing it. I want to feel free to write about my coworkers as well, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. My two best friends know about it, God bless them, but I don't think they read it either. Someone please leave me a snarky comment and make my day :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Why I Love our Patient Voicemail

At my company, we have a voicemail function that is most often used by prescribers or their agents to leave new prescriptions or refill authorizations. We also have a voicemail function for for patients to leave messages. This idea apparently brings out the stupid in people. Whenever the little icon pops up on my screen that there is a new patient voicemail, I just cringe in anticipation of what I am about to hear.

Usually, it is from some poor clueless old lady who got caught in the phone loop. Goes like this...

*sound of phone buttons being pushed* "What is this...this thing never works..." *touchtone buttons again* "Oh hell...Ed...I can't get this thing to work..." *click*

My favorite is the person who calls and wants to know if their prescription is ready, or has a complicated question they need answered. Really, why are you leaving a message for that? It invariably happens when it's been dead and the phone hasn't rung for 45 minutes, so it's not like they couldn't get through to speak to someone. So they leave me a message to call them back, and when I do, I get their voicemail. WTF, people?!

If I'm lucky, it's someone who is requesting a refill and I can take care of it without playing endless phone tag with the patient. That only happens once a month or so...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hyphenated Names

Ok, I’m just going to come right out and say it…I hate these uppity bitches with their hyphenated names. And it’s not so much the annoying Feminazi aspect of it…it’s because of scenarios like this…

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Mrs. Uppity-Bitch: “Yes, I’m picking up a prescription for Bitch”

Me: “Ok, let me see here…I am not seeing anything under that name…Was it a refill? Or did you drop off a new piece of paper prescription?”

Mrs. U-B: *with attitude* “I gave it to her right over there two hours ago and she said it would be ready in 15 minutes”

Me: “How do you spell the last name again?”

Mrs. U-B: *yelling* “B-I-T-C-H, just like it sounds”

Me: “Ok, let me dig a bit here”

Mrs. U-B: “Every time I come here, there is some kind of problem…you people can’t ever get my stuff taken care of on time. You are always losing my prescriptions”

Me: “Is there any other name it could be under?”

Mrs. U-B: “It’s under first name 'Raging,' last name 'Bitch.' That is my name. I don’t see what the problem is here.”

Me: “Ok, what’s the date of birth?”

Mrs. U-B: “6/6/60”

Me: “Could it possibly be under Raging Uppity-Bitch?”

Mrs. U-B: “Yes that’s me.”

Me: *sigh, finishes transaction* “Ok, so should we change your name from Raging Uppity-Bitch to Raging Bitch?”

Mrs. U-B: *irritated* “No, my name is Uppity-Bitch. It’s hyphenated.”

Me: *goes into the stockroom and hangs herself from the top shelves*

So, the moral of the story is…Bitches with hyphenated names should decide if they are going to be hyphenated or not. Or at least be halfway intelligent enough to realize that when we have trouble finding something using your name, tell us about the hyphenation. If you want a hyphenated name, use your hyphenated name ALL THE FUCKING TIME! Or I will hang myself in the stockroom. The end.